Your insecurities are a big $ maker

I remember being an insecure 15 year old girl like it was yesterday.

I remember criticizing every part of my body, looking in the mirror with disgust. I remember comparing myself to girls who appeared to have “the whole package”, fantasizing about what my life could be like if I could be a little bit more like them. I remember begging my mom for expensive beauty products, hoping these products would finally be the solution to overcoming my self-hatred.

Being a teenager without self-love lead to physical, emotional, and mental warfare against myself. My journey was dark, hurting myself and relying on drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain of feeling like a prisoner in my own body, thinking that I was the only one struggling.

I have always wondered, if I had seen self-love modeled as a young girl or as an impressionable teenager by an adult, such as my mother, my older sister, or teachers at school, if things would have been different for me. Would seeing a self-loving woman, confident and comfortable in her own skin, owning her strengths and weaknesses proudly, have saved me from years of self-inflicted suffering?

I believe the answer is yes. My answer is what I am most passionate about as a coach. It’s the reason behind everything I do. Because I never want another individual to suffer the way I had or worse than me.

I believe, collectively, as a community, we need to help mold the next generation of women to have unconditional love for themselves so that they can have unconditional love for others and the world. Without a healthy regard for their own self, their own interests and happiness, they won’t be able to truly love or care for others or the world.

This has never been as obvious as it is now. We live in a time when an individuals external measurement of success determines their validity in society. A time where social media filters have led to a phenomenon called Snapchat dysmorphia, a condition plastic surgeons see spiking, where individuals desire surgery to alter their exterior features to look more like the filters on the apps they use. A time of sharing carefully curated highlights of one’s life and covering up one’s flaws and weaknesses in order to avoid being perceived as vulnerable.

This problem is evident among most adults I see. In one on one coaching, I’ve seen this consistent lack of self-love, along with a consistent decline in self-worth, in women in their early 20’s all the way to women their early 60’s. We seem to be stuck in a perpetual purgatory, a never ending cycle of “I’m not enough, so I need more”. How do we break through this prison that has no generational boundaries?

This starts at home with you. This starts in our schools. Preparing our educators of today with wisdom of self-love practices for themselves and modeling it in the classroom and parents modeling it at home. First we start with ourselves, then we can effectively model it to our children.

Children spend most of their time in school and at home. Without a healthy model of self-love from their parents, teachers and close family/friends, they fall susceptible to the sword of social media, television advertisements, and blindly following their peers.

Self-love has a domino effect. When one person adopts the realizations of self-love into their life, both personally and professionally, another is inspired to do the same. As adults this is extremely profound. But as children, this is monumental. It’s life-changing. It sets the stage for the rest of their lives.

Children are like sponges. Constantly absorbing information that is modeled for them by adults and unfortunately, from technology. It’s impossible to ignore the wrench that social media has thrown in the pathway to obtaining of self-love amongst all generations.

Platforms such as Instagram and Facebooks are linked to negative effects of mental health through user engagement and usage. Facebook is currently under fire for knowing their platforms were negatively effecting teenagers mental health and trying to hide it.

But technology is only the latest monster. It’s predecessors have wrecked havoc on each generation in a similar fashion, it just wasn’t an extension of our bodies like our cell phones are today. Before social media, it was shiny magazine covers with super models, perfectly airbrushed and photoshopped. Before that TV ads sporting the ideal behavior and aesthetics that women were encouraged to obtain in order to be relevant and validated from society. We can look back decades ago and see that there has always been someone benefiting from our insecurities. As long as a seed of “lacking”, “not enough”, or “not ideal” is planted, there will always be profits to be made.

Human beings are more profitable if they believe they are damaged. Flawed. Inadequate. It’s a fucked up business model, but its success has proven time and time again.

These platforms won’t magically disappear because there is money to be made. Opening up an individuals insecurities and exploiting them for every dollar possible guarantees results to companies who want to sell you their products. Insecure about your weight? Whelp, then our fat burning shake is the solution for you! Oh you want male attention, a new bold lipstick is sure to make you seem more desirable! The examples are endless. Why would these companies stop? For the good of humanity? To protect our mental health? Keep dreaming.

That’s why it’s so important to cultivate self-love, not just as a defensive strategy against companies exploiting your insecurities, but to help our future generations build resilience. To help the future generation grow from a place of love and abundance instead of a place of fear and scarcity.

It’s never too early or too late to adopt the art of self-love. Investing in your own happiness and creating a self-love plan that is customized to your unique wants and needs is essential to living a life you love. It’s also essential to stand up for the generations to come, to show them that truly loving themselves, is the greatest gift they can ever give themselves, others and the world.

So I challenge you to stand up today for you. Stand up for those who are too young to understand the damage that can be done and is awaiting them on the other side. Stand up for the mothers, daughters, and sisters of tomorrow.



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