Getting a nose job: my ultimate investment in self-love

Isn’t it hypocritical to talk about self-love after getting plastic surgery?

That’s what my husband asked me as he drove me to my rhinoplasty surgery.

I always knew that there would be people with this perspective. I can’t blame them, I even had this perspective before deciding to move forward with the surgery.

I had many nights going back and forth by myself before my set surgery date. I feared what if I look too different and my husband isn’t attracted to me anymore? What if my family and friends don’t recognize me? What if people don’t want to work with me as their self-love coach because they think I’m a phony? What if this is a huge mistake and I end up hating the result?

These were the fears and insecurities that populated my head, keeping me up late at night days before my surgery. So how did I come to the decision of getting the surgery? How did I navigate through these tough questions and know I was making the right decision?

I surrendered to love and allowed the love I have for myself to guide me when making this decision.

I looked at this as an investment in my self-love. A huge layer of developing healthy philautia, healthy self-love, is acceptance. Accepting who you inherently are, the good & the bad.

But self-love doesn’t have one layer-it has many. Developing healthy confidence is another layer of self-love. Elevating healthy confidence is the first area of growth that I work with clients on in my programs.

Why? Because confidence sets the stage for what you are willing to do and what you’re willing to try. Without it, you are depending on your fears to push you through life. We can’t develop love for ourselves from that space and we can’t navigate forward with a clear head from that space either.

It’s like trying to grow a flower in a dark room. You need water and sunlight to flourish as a flower. Confidence is the water that helps one grow. It lubricates. It strengthens. It revitalizes. You fall down, it picks you back up.

Confidence is always worth investing in-internally & externally. I had done this internal work before looking into the surgery (and still do the internal work to continue elevating my confidence today). But there were external changes that wouldn’t change unless physical investments were made. So that’s why I moved forward with the surgery & I am so happy I did.

I’m more confident in my aesthetics and my nose functions so much better than before the surgery. I used to mouth breathe terribly and felt super insecure about my oral hygiene because my mouth was always dry from the inability to breathe effortlessly through my nose.

But even without having a functional reason for moving forward with the surgery, I would never look down upon someone or judge them saying, “oh you don’t have a good enough reason to get the surgery”. I don’t think you need a functional problem for your desire to be “just” in getting plastic surgery.

Plastic surgery is a big investment financially. Making the investment is one of the grandest gestures to show yourself self-love. It’s like buying an engagement ring for your forever partner-a commitment to loving yourself long term.

The difference that I always like to bring up though is that you need to be making the investment for the right reasons. Most times the right reasons for making the decision about the investment aren’t clear until doing the deep internal work first before touching anything externally.

Before doing the deep internal work, I wanted to change multiple things about myself physically. My nose, I wanted larger breasts, more voluminous lips, a smaller waist, a bigger ass, my ears pinned back. The list was insane.

But after doing the internal work of self-love, all those changes I wanted to make disappeared, except for my desire to elevate my nose, that was when I knew that the investment was important. That’s when I knew making the investment was the right decision for me.

The wrong decision would have been thinking that making this investment would make me finally happy, which is never the case. Happiness can only be achieved long term by rolling up your sleeves doing the internal work. Confidence on the other hand, can be achieved through internal and external work.

If you make an external investment, banking on it being the thing that makes you happy, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Because it’s never enough. You’ll constantly need more and more external changes to give you small levels of dopamine secretion. Those splurges of dopamine that will make you think, for a short time, that you are happy-but that’s only temporary.

You’ll be in a constant search for more. That’s why I think it’s so important to do the deep internal work of self-love prior to making any major plastic surgery decisions. Like me, you’ll most likely feel differently about your physical appearance afterwards.

Maybe after your journey to self-love, you recognize that you’d like to invest in your physical appearance because it will elevate your confidence and self-love, and that’s okay! At least then you will have more clarity as to why you are making the investment and know you are making the investment from a place of love and not fear.


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